? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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