there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
