OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
