If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sober January is a disaster.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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