You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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