There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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