well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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