the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
