Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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