It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
