at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
