no you cant smoke seaweed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
