i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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