I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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