Nicole vs. Life
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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