Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
