It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
