I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
