so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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