I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
