I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
