So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize