Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
