So drunk its hurt
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
