So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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