oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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