I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
