he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
