Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
