you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
