Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize