So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
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And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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