you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
