Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
