..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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