Banned from zoo.
Again?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
