This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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