Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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