Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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