I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
