We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize