operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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