Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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