With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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