I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
