I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm just crazy horny about you
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
