I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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