your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Every concussion has its silver lining
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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