that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
