Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
