i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize