Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
