oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
