yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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