we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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