i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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