"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
