i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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