Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
