Non-Jews are for practice
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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