I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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