Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
