last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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